Sports Revelation

Interesting, or Just Plain Crazy

Where o’ where should I start this week’s installment of Interesting, or Just Plain Crazy (IJPC)?

How about 2 Billion?

Numbers seem different and so much more when you add a dollar sign ($) in front of them. 2 billion, is 2 billion, but $2 billion is something completely different.

My little garbonzo-bean sized brain cannot even comprehend 2 Billion Dollars. I mean, do you have to turn your smart phone on it’s side to read your account while e-banking? I guess one of the signs that I will never see that type of cash money, is the fact I can’t wrap my brain around how much money that actually is.

1 Billion is equal to 1,000 million. So, 1 Billion dollars is 1,000 million dollars. and 2 Billion is 2 x 1,000 million dollars. DAMN!

Can you image your mailed statement stating a negative $2 Billion dollar transaction? I sure cant.Do they even bother mailing a statement for an account that has that type of cash flow? probably not. I have no idea what’s even involved with managing this much money. Yet, another sign I will never see this type of money.

Do you know who did see a negative $2B flash across his statement in red? Mr. Steve Ballmer, the new owner of the LA Clippers.

Now, this is not going to be a post about me judging Mr. Balmer. He can spend his hard earned money however the hell he wants. Nope, no judging here (but maybe, okay, alot of enviousness here). I would love to sit down at night with my wife to a nice dinner and start the conversation with:

“Hey dear, how was your day?”

“Good, and yours?”

“You know, about the same. I’m a little tired it’s been a long week.”

“Yep, me too.”

“Hey what do you say to spending 2 billion dollars, and buying a basketball team?”

“Hmmmm. never thought about it. Give me a minute. Oh, and could you please pass the butter”

“Yeah sure. of course. How’s the broccoli cooked?”

“Pretty good, actually. Well cooked, still hot, and it has a nice crispness to it. I’m sure it’s all in my head, but organic veggies just taste better. Wait, which team?”

“Glad you like the broccoli. um…yeah, the team in LA.”

“Los Angeles? The—”

“No-no, the…ah.. the other team, the Clippers.”

Now, my wife and I, always have this type of conversation. Instead, only insert Saucony running shoes (, and the discussion always ends with me agreeing with my wife (It’s just easier this way), to wait for a sale before I pull the trigger and execute the purchase of new shoes.

Speaking of Sale items. Were the clippers bought on a sale price? It’s been reported Mr. Balmer paid $2,000,000,000 for them. The LA Clippers are reported worth $430 Million, and made a profit of 9.1 million dollars, which is good to put them in 18 place for most valuable teams in the NBA according to Forbes (LA Clippers Worth). This puts the Clippers behind teams from Portland, Cleveland, and Utah. For the record, these 3 teams are not seated in LA, and I am sure it is more enticing to own a franchise in Los Angeles. BUT, Lets be honest, when one thinks of profession basketball, you immediately think of the LA Lakers, Bulls, Celtics (not in this order), and maybe youngsters think of the LeBron Jame’s Heat, and possible OKC. I guess there is room for improvement for the Clippers, and 2 billion dollars is worth the investment. We will only know in 20 years.

In 20 years, I expect Mr. Balmer to dial me up, on whatever magical phone (Microsoft maybe, has invented) we are using in this  time, and say, “Hey kid, besides the fact no one read any of your blogs, and your site is down, my team is now worth more then the chump change I paid for them in 2014.” I would have to agree, and offer my congratulations on a job well played. I guess only time will tell. Until then, we will just wait, with me still trying to fathom $2 Billion dollars, and Mr. Balmer currently $2 Billion dollars less in his massive account enjoying his “2 Billion dollar running shoes.”

Oh, by the way Mr. Balmer, since you seem to be in a spending mood…I have a 2003 dark grey Honda accord in very good condition, with a used roof rack (score extra points with hipsters for actually being used), valued by Kelley Blue Book  (2003 Honda Accord F’ing Sweet Ride) between $8,000 and $9,000 dollars. I will sell it to you. Heck, I will drive it, or ship it to LA, so you can purchase in Los Angeles, for the Kelley Blue Book value, plus another 1.2 Million, or course.

Again, it will be in LA, sir.





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