Sports Revelation

NFL, Something Smells…

There is a stench in the air and the NFL’s albino lizard skin shoes are covered in fecal matter.

Yes, Roger Goodell you have a little bit of poop on the soles of your fancy shoes and you have created this problem. We are not going to discuss the college players who were told they were going to be drug tested on a specific date. Then, these athletes sparked a doobie while holding up a big middle finger to the NFL, the owners, and their fans.

No, we are going to talk about the corner the NFL has painted itself into. I am referring to the recent news regarding Thomas Edward Patrick “Tom” Brady, Jr and the 2 men involved with the upkeep of his balls.

The NFL and Roger Goodell do not want to suspend Golden-Boy Tom Brady. However, thanks to the Cleveland Browns’ GM Ray Farmer getting suspended for 4 games, and the Atlanta Falcons getting fined and losing a draft pick, we have some precedent on suspensions. The attempt to manipulate the game by changing the game balls appears to be much more of a factor compared to pumping in artificial crowd noise and some old dude with grey hair texting formations and suggesting plays. Plus, it looks like a player, one Thomas Brady, knew something was going on. There was also an attempt by team employees for a cover up. On paper the pressure of Brady’s balls seems like a bigger issue than that of the Browns or Falcons.

I get the fact we are talking about a small change in PSI. I understand the actually deflating of footballs is not that huge of a deal. The issue is, the New England Patriots and Tom Brady had the intent to break a league rule. Matter a fact, this same league rule was one Mr. Brady whined about during a game against the Jets. Apparently he is particular about the balls he handles. And thank god, we finally heard from Tom Brady’s Agent. I’m sure his main concern is getting to the bottom of this investigation. The other glaring issue is this is the second time offense for cheating by the New England Patriot organization.

Commisionor Goodell cannot afford to let a player knowingly break a league rule. How could he let this one slide, and then come down overly aggressive on another player/coach who breaks a rule (most likely James Harrison and/or the Steelers).  I don’t think he will. I think he will turn to his Official Suspension Calculator and find out the suspensions.

I feel Rog will then beat his chest and decree a forfiet of a draft pick of no-significance, and continue orating about a 4 game suspension of Tom Brady. Mr. Goodell will look menacing and people will cheer him from all over the land as he stands tall still with fecal matter attached to his sole. Of course, the suspension will be appealed and overturned to just 2 games. This way, Robert Kraft will be happy, Brady will have more time to dance horrifically at expensive music festivals in foreign lands, and ‘ol pooped-stain shoes himself will continue to steer this billion dollar ship with the sun at his back and breeze in his face not smelling his own stench.


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