Sports Revelation

Going Into the Darkness of Mordor

I knew I was walking into the darkness and into the territory of the enemy. I knew I had to remain hidden from the beady eyes of the orcs and creatures slinking through the mud and grime. So, this past holiday weekend, I followed Gollum (my bother in law) from safety into the darkness and evil of Pittsburgh. As I deftly scurried around, trying to remain safe, I could feel the magic in the air which was currently holding a curse, plaguing my Oakland Raiders. Despite the trepidation slowly weaving around my heart, a heart which pumps Silver and Black blood, I placed my fears behind me and pressed on.

Let me begin by saying, I do not blame all of the Raiders recent years of folly, misery, and the outcome of the JaMarucus Russell draft pick solely on the Steeler Nation and that damned catch, that damned “Reception” (which was an illegal touching by 2 Steelers directly in a row).

However, if it worked for Bilbo Baggins to in Lord of The Rings, then obviously it could work for me in real life. I figured I needed to take the “1” ring to control them all, and throw it back into the flames and lava of Mount Doom. Obvioulsy, the “1” ring is the Super Bowl ring. I needed to get one for each of the Super Bowls the Steeler’s have won. 6? (They have won 6 Super Bowls?!) Okay, that’s alot of rings. I realized my initial plan was quickly turning into a logistical nightmare, and I knew my odds were shrinking as I thought about each ring. So…..

Instead of throwing 6 rings to their fiery deaths, I did the next best thing. I rooted and cheered for the Raiders in the heart of a Steeler sanctuary. Only guided by Gollum, I battled my way into the heart of darkness. Carefully I stepped one foot after the other through the entrance way to the end of the world, the Primanti Bros, Restaurant and Bar.

I decided since I could not reverse the illegal catch by melting the rings back to where they came from, I’d waltz into a den of Steeler’s love, and spread some of my own Raider dust and then leave with yummy sandwiches with fries and coleslaw on the sandwich of course.


The first part of my plan worked out. I had fantastic food (Pizza and Sandwiches). Thank you Primanti Bros and thank you brother in law for driving. We will have to wait for the second part of my plan to see how the Raiders fare next year.

Enjoy family and enjoy sports responsibly!



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