Sports Revelation

Even In His Sleep Denard Robinson Can’t Be Stopped

Sure, athletes have been known to get a DUI. And sadly, some athletes have even been caught asleep and passed out at a stop light. However, Jacksonville Jaguar’s running back Denard Robinson stepped up his game of falling asleep while operating a vehicle, and took it to a whole new level.

The Jacksonville Police responded to a call of an Impala found sinking in a retention pond late last Sunday evening. The police found both Robinson and his passenger asleep in their seats of the submerged car. The officers on the scene reported his car was never in jeopardy of drifting completely underwater, but still they wanted to get the two out of the car.

The dialogue that ensues after the police arrive on the scene is fantastic and helps Denard Robinson win our Jagoff of the Week Award. According to the official report, Denard opened his eyes to the police officer knocking on his window only to immediately fall asleep. The passenger finally came to consciousness and coolly rolled down the window and asked, “What’s up?” Can you imagine if you were first to arrive on a scene involving a car submerged in a pond, and the passenger asks you, the Good Samaritan, “what’s up?” Really?!? “Whats up?” You were riding in a car that drives directly into a pond and there you decide to take a nap, and then ask me, ‘Whats’ up?”

Mr. Robinson had a difficult time waking up, and then the report tells how he had a more difficulty time understanding he was in a pond. One police report states the officer had to convince Robinson he was indeed resting in a pond, assist Robinson with his seat belt, and after 3 attempts finally convinced the sleepy football player to exit the passenger door. The one door not underwater.

Robinson never seemed to be phased during the entire incident. Nor did he ever turn his car off. However, I for one, have not ever tried to drive through a pond. And I am not sure if you really need to turn off the engine at this point in the game.

Magically, Robinson not only passed the DUI screening but also demonstrated enough control for the officer to confidently report, “that alcohol and drugs were not suspected and no tests for them were conducted.” Come on, Robinson expertly maneuvered his car into a pond while sleeping, of course he would proficiency master any type of test while awake. I bet he’s a handful to tackle on the football field.

The next day Robinson addressed the incident saying he knew he should not have been driving, because he was “tired.” No, Mr. Robinson “tired” might cause a person to fall asleep behind the wheel and drive smack dab into pond, but then you wake up. Being “tired” from staying up late having fun while dabbling with various substances cause a person to pass out. A passed out person falls asleep behind the wheel and does not wake up when he drives straight into a pond. We are not fools (although apparently the cops that “tested” Robinson might be).

Congratulations, Mr. Robinson you win this weeks Jagoff of the Week Award.

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